How to Love Your Inner Critic!
Notice & Name the Voices
The inner critic thrives when your are fused with your thoughts and sense of identity.
The first step is simply to notice what it’s saying — without judgment, stay curious.
The voice might sound mean, demanding, anxious, or disappointed. That’s okay.
Your job isn’t to silence it — it’s to see it, welcome it and get to know it.
Tip - Try this:
Then, when those thoughts come up during your day, say:
“I notice a part of me is saying…
For example: “I notice a part of me is saying I’m not a very good hypnotherapist.”
This creates some space between you and the thought.
It lands you into Observing Self.
Also, you can give your inner critics a nickname (I call one of my inner voices ‘Radio Doom and Gloom’, another is called “Safe Sal.”)
These names shouldn’t be used to belittle the voices, but they can help to separate out the voices so you can start seeing their patterns.
For example Radio Doom and Gloom doesn’t see the hope in getting excited for anything, and Safe Sal wants to keep me away from physical and mental harm.
Drop Into the Observer
When you start to notice your inner critic talking to you, you can choose to not immediately react to what it’s saying and instead position in your Observing Self.
This will give you an anchor point where you will learn to notice what the thoughts are staying, notice the accompanying feelings, and sensations without becoming overwhelmed by them.
Tip - Try this while sitting comfortably:
Take you time to feel your body in your chair and your feet on the ground.
Notice the rise and fall of your breath.
Each time you breath out, allow your body to relax, letting go of trying to ‘do’ anything other than being with your breath.
Do this for a few minutes until you feel calm.
Now notice the thoughts that pop up in your mind, staying calm, just notice what those thoughts have to say, be curious and open to the messages they are delivering.
You don’t have to fix or change anything about those messages. Just notice from your Observing Self.
Come out of the practice when you are ready.
Let this become a daily practice for the next few days— even for 1 minute at a time, build this muscle of observing without reacting.
Welcome and Name the Voices
Now you know how to stay calm and watch from your Observing Self, you can now begin to get to know the voices for intimatley.
What are they saying? What are they telling you to do?
From the place of the Observing Self, ask:
“What’s your job here?” Notice how it answers and ask more questions in a curious and calm way, find out why it wants to do this job and who it serves? You will come to realize that they are parts of you that are trying to protect you, to keep you safe, even if it doesn’t always feel pleasant, they do have your interests in mind.
Tip -
You can give your inner critics a nickname.
I call one of my inner voices ‘Radio Doom and Gloom’, another is called ‘Safe Sal.’
These names shouldn’t be used to belittle the voices, or their job roles, but the names can help to see them as individual parts and to separate out their voices so you can start seeing their patterns and how they might even be working together.
For example, Radio Doom and Gloom doesn’t see the hope in getting excited for anything, and Safe Sal wants to keep me away from physical and mental harm.
Now you know more about where these inner voices are coming from, you know their roles, maybe they even have names. You can start to learn how to attend to them.
As you go about your day notice when they pop up to say hello, as much as you can stay in Observing Self, be calm and curious. You might also begin to notice other parts of you that can come in and help sooth a part that gets flared up.